Personal Coping Strategies During this National Tragedy & War

by Laura Krieger, M.A., CHT. Member of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress Certified Clinical Hypnotherapy, Stress and Pain Management, Trauma Intervention scroll down and see info below regarding; What is Trauma, Symptoms of Trauma, What to Do, Natural Supplements.

These words are offered as suggestions, based on my research and my professional experience helping people with stress and pain management.  They are offered with the greatest sincerity in memory of those who lost their lives  and to all who have suffered, personally and collectively, as a result of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.  It is with good intentions that I attempt to share these thoughts and coping tools, as honestly as possible, in the hope that somebody might benefit by them, and never with any intentional disrespect to anybody's feelings or experiences.  
As always, each of us is responsible for deciding what strategies would be most effective for his/her lifestyle, experience and health condition, and should get professional healthcare treatment when necessary.

WHAT IS TRAUMA?

In light of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack and the incredible losses and efforts that followed, it is appropriate to examine the characteristics of trauma and some strategies that help us cope. It is also appropriate to remind ourselves that as humans, we are remarkable resilient, that experiencing traumatic symptoms after a shocking event is normal, that history has shown us that with patience and awareness, we have a remarkable ability to rebalance and heal, that sharing the trauma experiences is often highly therapeutic. We can become traumatized when we have personally experienced a physical and/or emotional shock on our own being or when we have witnessed it occurring to others, or even read about it or become aware of it. It seems as though the body has great difficulty in deciphering whether we have personally or vicariously experienced the shock, and often reacts the same way in either case. Experiencing trauma symptoms is a common reaction to a shocking event, and it is exacerbated when the event is uniquely out of proportion with normalcy, is experienced or reviewed repeatedly, is accompanied with great dramatic effect through the senses: vision, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting, when we are particularly personally vulnerable at that time or when we are already carrying the effects of prior traumas in our lives. It is obvious how many of these components were present during the attack on America on September 11, 2001. People do not all react to shocking experiences the same way. There are many reasons why some people can maintain emotional and/or physical equilibrium longer or more effectively than others. This has very little to do with how strong they are or whether they are more or less compassionate. It is not in any way a measure of a person's weakness, insight, or dignity. Traumatic reactions occur to men, women and children; to rich and poor; healthy and ill; actively involved or not; on the scene or far away.

SYMPTOMS OF TRAUMA

The symptoms of trauma can be very varied.  Many people find that their sleep habits change, and they struggle with excessive sleep, insomnia, interrupted sleep, startling awakenings, troubled dreams.  Many find that their eating habits change, their moods swing...they may feel frequently moved to tears or anger or fear or frustration or loss.  Some find that scenes of the trauma invade their inner vision repeatedly, that they jump at noises, that their skin "crawls", that they're nauseous.  Notice that many of the symptoms of trauma manifest in the "physical" body.  Research indicates that the body has no particular system for processing emotional trauma, so it often affects the same organs, processes, immunity systems as diseases do.  Therefore, it is not unusual during trauma that people experience skin eruptions, respiratory problems, headaches, loss of energy, palpitations, and are especially susceptible to chronic disorders they already have: migraines, asthma, joint inflammation, auto-immune disorders, etc.  I have even read research that indicates that a traumatized person's body temperature may change temporarily, so that they might run a fever.  Obviously, if these symptoms are a cause for concern because of your particular health condition, see your professional healthcare provider as soon as possible.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorderis what we call the condition when the trauma symptoms present themselves after a period of time has passed from the initial shock, sometimes a week later or a month or a year or even many years. Because so much attention has recently focused on PTSD, we are perhaps unduly afraid of it, which may be exacerbating your already fearful state during this present trauma, especially if you personally experienced or witnessed the attack or are participating in the rescue mission. Although there are many coping strategies to help deal with the trauma in the present in order to reduce the likelihood for PTSD, it is also wise to realize that if your body's inner wisdom, your personal life experiences, choose to suppress the shock for a while, there will be help in dealing with it if it should manifest later, and you are still safe and healthy. Be patient and lovingly gentle with yourself no matter how you are responding to the present situation.

GRIEF
Although many of you have obviously experienced personal grief during your lifetime, there is an unusual power to experiencing collective grief, especially when so much media attention is focused on it and it is the result of such unexpected and extraordinary events. Grief is the sense of loss when something or someone that we depended on moves out of our tangible lives. It is often connected to permanent "good byes" It is exacerbated when those "good byes" to beloved persons are sudden, untimely, and unexpected. It is exacerbated when it occurs in overwhelmingly tremendous measure, and when there is no available closure. It is exacerbated when the occurrence was the result of a great injustice and was not provoked. We grieve not only for the tragic loss of beloved lives unfairly ended, but also for illusions we believed in, for a sense of reality that was usurped, for our sense of safety. Collective grief can be both assuring in its camaraderie and unbalancing in its magnitude, but voicing and sharing the grief, is part of the healing process for many people. On the other hand, follow your inner wisdom. If voicing, demonstrating and sharing grief is NOT comfortable for you, do not feel pressured to do so.

GUILT And with that grief often comes a sense of guilt...for being a survivor. Regardless of whether you are part of the magnificent and heroic rescue teams, or the volunteers, or a television spectator at home somewhere far away from the awful Pentagon, Pennsylvania, and Ground Zero sites, that sense of guilt and disconnection from the tragedy often surfaces. It is truly important to realize that the people who perished in the attack, many young, vibrant, people, beloved people, family members from so many different backgrounds, going about their daily business, who perished in an unspeakably terrible way, were sacred, and will always be sacred. They are truly sacred casualties of a most cowardly, inhuman, unjust type of warfare. But, it is not disloyal to remember that you, the living, are also sacred...to survive is also sacred...to be alive and to grieve is sacred, as well as difficult, and often incredibly heroic, to be alive and grieve, yet be glad to be alive, is sacred. If you are here, now, today, that is your destiny! And you are sacred.

WHAT TO DO?
Some of you may feel the need to visualize the terrible suffering of the victims. You may feel that you are offering something by internalizing the suffering into your personal space, imagining the gruesome details of fear and pain. Imagining moments of death. This may be especially true of families and colleagues of the victims. Be gentle with yourselves, dear people. Give yourself permission to release the need to do this. Give yourself permission. Accept my permission to release the need to do this, if that will help. That self-punitive visualization doesn't help the victims. It doesn't help you. It was not your destiny to experience that. Allow yourself to experience your own grief and loss without additional punishment. Allow the victims the honor and dignity of what they were forced to endure, often with incredible shows of courage and honor, because that belongs to them! The power of visualization is great, so if you do choose to envision, envision the victims, your beloved family member, surrounded by love and consolation and compassion at the time of the tragedy. If you are religious or spiritual, envision them surrounded by Powers of Assistance and Goodness, whichever you believe in, releasing them from fear and pain, helping them to die in peace and love. There is the belief among many holistic healers, including myself, that the power of love and healing defies time and space, so allow yourself to believe that those visualizations will reach their destination and provide comfort and solace, if that is comfortable for you. Some of you may already be carrying great prior losses and/or traumas. In that case, an event like this can easily get anchored in with the pain you already carry. It is important and helpful to avoid "clumping" the tragedies...to remind yourself that this is occurring in the present and that it is separate from your other experiences. BREATHING FOR IMMEDIATE RELIEFIf you find yourself consumed with a sense of impending doom and sorrow, do this:

• Sit down comfortably and set your feet firmly on the ground.
• Gently exhale slowly and take in a gentle inhale breath.
• With the next exhale, think or say, "I am here," (and tell yourself exactly where you are).
• Inhale gently.
• With the next exhale, think or say, "I am now," (and tell yourself the time, date, etc).
• Inhale gently.
• With the next exhale, think or say, "I am safe."
• Then tell yourself in this "here and now" specific items that you are seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. This puts you in touch with pragmatic reality and grounds you.
  

Much of the time in your life when you are anxious or panicked or overwhelmed, you are actually, in that moment, quite safe. When you ground yourself in that safety and acknowledge it, you are literally calming not just your emotions, but every cell in your body. Each of those billions of cells take their clue from your thoughts. When you act as the capable "parent" to these "children" cells, your entire system calms, your immunity system is empowered, your emotional stability rebalances, and you are investing in your own health and strength.

YOUNGSTERS If you are dealing with a frightened child or an overwhelmed rescue worker, perhaps, or survivor, the least effective method of "help" is probably to suggest that they "relax". It is often much more effective to say, "Come, breathe with me." And establish your own easy breathing pattern that they can synchronize with. Then say the exercise suggested above. If the other person is too agitated to participate, just sit nearby and do it yourself. Living beings naturally tend to "entrain" or move into synchronicity with each other. If you follow the above process, chances are good that the other person will naturally synchronize with you and begin releasing the tension and difficult emotions. If working with a child, it is often helpful to say, "Come let's breathe together. Put your hand on your tummy and feel the air when it goes in and when it goes out." Focusing on breathing is a time-honored method of regaining emotional and physical equilibrium, as is reminding yourself that despite fears and concerns, at this moment, you are safe. The fact is, that if, during relatively safety, our minds are consumed with fear and visions of projected danger, then we never benefit from the moments of safety and ease which are essential investments against difficult times. Even in times of danger, it is helpful to calm the mind and body with this exercise, before proceeding to take action. There are other arguments against projecting negative scenarios or "awfulizing" before there is just reason to do so. Even in times of legitimate fear, if the hazard is not yet on the scene, why turn yourself over to the drain of imagining the negative? This is, in essence, what happens during the panic attacks of anxiety disorders. Human beings, as well as animals, have been programmed to deal with danger with the Fight-or-Flight reaction. During actual danger, the entire body shifts into this mode, and provides a kind of "numbing alertness" so that you can make the best decisions, utilize your greatest reserves of courage and commitment, and harness more energy than you might have ever guessed you had. We have seen this to an unbelievable remarkable extent in the Rescue Workers. But, when the hazard is not present, and the mind is focused on it as though it were, but without any method of taking action, the body doesn't know how to release the energy and emotions that are triggered, and we struggle and suffer needlessly. So:

• If you are in actual harm's way, take action!  Action usually manifests as Flight (Running away as fast as you can) or Fight (Using your mental strategy and physical force to ward off the danger).  In the action, as incredibly brave and awesome as we've seen it to be in the Rescue Mission, as exhausting and demanding as it can obviously be, there is a release of the pent up energy.  BUT, it may not be your destiny, at this moment, to take action.  It may be somebody else's destiny.  Your Action-Path may not be obvious yet.  Be patient.  If you need to do something, write letters, make phonecalls, provide something to somebody in need now, make a financial donation, etc.
• If you are not in immediate harm's way, but there is a real danger pending that you can identify, take time off from other activities to make a deliberate plan and preparation, as many of you do before a predicted hurricane.  Take time to sit down and determine the needed supplies, and buy them, store them, etc.  Make a plan of action, and if necessary, rehearse it.  This is traditional preparation procedure, as we know from fire drills, and, if you're of a certain age, from the air raid drills we used to participate in.
• If you are not in immediate harm's way and cannot prepare for it, then give yourself permission to avoid unfocused, free-floating worry and anxiety...to release it so it doesn't stream beneath your ordinary conscious awareness level, sapping energy from your body and spirit. If you must grieve or connect with your feelings, STOP what you're doing. STOP ACTIVITY. Turn your full attention to your grief, fear, concern. Immerse yourself in it, connect with it, for a limited time. (Use a timer if necessary). That's what two minutes of memorial silence is all about. Then deliberately, gently, put those feelings aside so you can get on with living. If you feel fear sensations beyond that, put your hands gently over the place in your body where you feel them: throat? chest? midriff? And in the gentle, firm tone you would use to a little frightened child, tell your own inner little frightened child, that you hear her/him. You're getting the message. But he/she has grown up. You're an adult now. And you can cope with this or get appropriate help to cope with this. Assure that frightened part of you that it can relax. Often it will calm down and let you get on with your obligations.
  

It goes without saying that youngsters have been powerfully affected by the attack. We cannot and should not hide it from them. The grief and shockwaves are in the air, and they can feel them. As frightening as these events are, experts generally agree that secrecy is often more frightening and more damaging, and often leaves people with the idea that they were left out because they were too weak to cope and share, and that feeling can last well into adulthood. If you are dealing with youngsters, answer their questions offering only as much as satisfies them. Some strategies that are often effective include (these are not necessarily meant for children who are in deep grieving over the lost of a loved one):

• Hugs or cuddling, when appropriate and the child is receptive, or gentle unthreatening touch on the back or shoulder or head.
• The Here-and-Now procedure offered above...especially allowing the child to voice what he sees, hears, etc., in his immediate space.
• If the child asks a question, it is not always effective to respond with unrealistic assurance, unless the child is VERY young or understanding is limited.  Instead, repeat the question and ask the child what he/she thinks.  In other words, "How do YOU think the people felt stuck in the building?.  Then offer a helping question such as, "What do you hope helped them?"  Offer no judgment, just acceptance of the response,  Mmmmhmmmmm.  Or repeat it.  Or, "I hope so too."  Ask for their advice, "What do you think is the best way to clean up New York?"  
• Provide limited but focused time for grieving or fear, if that's what surfaces, and be ready with a substitute activity when that time is over, assuring the child that he/she can do that as often as he/she needs to.
• When a small child expresses concern for his/her safety, "What will I do if you're not there," first assure the child that you ARE there.  If that satisfies, stop there.  If the next question is, "But what if you're not there, "remind him/her of some familiar caretaker: grandma, Aunt Alice, teacher, neighbor.  If that satisfies, stop.  If the questioning continues, remind him of police, clergy, 911.  If the child refuses to be satisfied, let him/her move into fantasy and ask what hero/heroine, tv character, book character, etc., would be helpful in an emergency.  And if appropriate, help him/her remember the Source of Faith that you access.
• Encourage creative expressions of the child's feelings of sadness or fear or mourning in drawings, drumming, movement, dance, songs, dolls, cut-outs from magazines, etc.  When we can create tangible representations of our feelings, we can often move them out of our bodies into the "world" and deal with them more effectively and less threateningly.

If you are dealing with an adolescent, be aware that they are perhaps the most vulnerable age group. They are well aware of what happened and personally concerned for how these events will affect their safety, their plans, their lives. The well-known air of rebellion and bravado that many teens affect requires a sure knowledge that the basic fabric and structure of society is strong and will be intact in spite of the rebellion and bravado. When the foundation of that is compromised, adolescent confidence can also be compromised. But do remember that this age group consists, truly, of young or emerging adults, and, in fact, in this situation, there is no way of knowing whether we (the adults) know better than they do.

• Expect mood swings.  Adolescence is a time of changing hormones, and this becomes exaggerated during times of great stress or uncertainty.  Sometimes it is helpful to echo the emotion that is being expressed, "You look angry.  Wanna talk?"
• Many adolescents worry about how they would do if personally faced with a threatening situation.  Many have shaky senses of self and self-esteem.  Teens are generally much more aware of their weaknesses than their strengths.  Help your teen identify his/her unique characteristics that would help him/her in an emergency.  Even traits that might be considered undesirable, can be renamed as a source of strength.  Eg:  Laziness as patience, ability to remain still before taking action.  Sloppiness as the ability to function even in a situation of disorderliness.  Stubborness as the strength to stand up to a situation and not succumb, if that's the most appropriate behavior.  Shyness as the ability to not call attention to yourself and survive by keeping a low profile.  Egotism as leadership ability.
• Hugs when appropriate or gentle touch, as with the younger children, when accepted.  Do not push this.  Honor the teen's preference.  Do NOT overstep the bounds of your relationship.
• ASK for their perspective or advice.  Provide safe, non-judgmental opportunity for airing thoughts.  Listen without judgment, even if you are in total disagreement.  You do not have to agree, just listen.  Even if the teen reaction seems rash, remember that today's opinion may be different tomorrow.
• ASK if they want to tell you specifically what they're struggling with: sleeping problems, recurring scenes from the attack, etc.  ASK if they want to talk to a professional counselor.
• ASK what their thoughts are regarding how this affects their lives...their values...their view of people, the world, etc.
• Heroes and Heroism.  Discuss heroes.  What hero does he/she think would rise to this occasion.  What hero would he/she like to have with him/her during a disaster.  What hero's characteristic (even cartoon or tv or literature heroes) would be helpful here.
• Teens are often physical by nature.  If possible, direct the need to release stored emotions into acceptable physical energy (NOT CHORES!)  Building something, chopping, swimming, tennis, hammering, cooking, etc.
• Spiritual rebalance.  Prayer.  Silence.  Source of spiritual help and refuge.   

Lastly, for everybody, limit exposure to the repeated presentation of the event, especially on television.  Watching and rewatching the scenes of horror at the World Trade Center and war are truly a kind of negative self-hypnosis, anchoring those scenes right into your unconscious without providing relief or rescue.  If you find yourself surfing the tv, now that the initial shocking reality is past, be firm with yourself, and stop!  If repeatedly watching the same scenes is providing a kind of permission to take time off from your life, get back to living!

  
You have earned it.  
You're worth it.  
You're sacred.  
You're alive!

Blessing and Protection on you and the Sacred Space you move in on the path of your life's fulfillment.  

NATURAL SUPPLEMENTS

As an herbalist, let me remind you to eat properly during this stressful time, drink plenty of water, get outdoors into fresh air, and, when possible, do some moderate exercise.  Natural supplements you might want to consider (check with healthcare professional if pregnant or dealing with chronic health problems.  These are offered merely as information to be investigated) include:

• Bach's Rescue Remedy which gently calms the nervous system and is considered generally safe for everybody, even young children and pets.
• B complex vitamins and Magnesiumare among the herb and mineral supplements that are often suggested during periods of excessive stre Check with your medical advisor.
• Relaxing herb teasthat contain such calming herbs as lemon balm, catnip, passion flower, oatseed, chamomile, if not allergic.
• Re-energizing herbssuch as mint, ginger, chili powder, rosemary, ginseng, cinnamon, turmeric, if not allergic.
• Calming Essential Oils(for external use only) such as Lavender, Rosewood, Clary Sage, Patchouli, Sandalwood.
• Re-energizing Essential Oils(for external use only) such as Rosemary, Ginger, Mint, Grapefruit, Tangerine, Pine, Eucalyptus, Juniper. Note: Dilute a drop or two of the essential oils in olive oil or skin cream or vaseline for safe use on skin. Keep away from delicate membranes/tissues

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Copyright Laura Krieger 2001 email Elchai@comcast.net